nov-2001

 if you are elvis then why can't you spell good?  elvis was a very smart man, so you must be a fake.   and when are you coming out?  yea right fruitcake.  also, where are you living these days?

C.P.Gibbs

dear C,

fruit cake?  someone mention fruitcake, it better be the FRESH stuff!  (my god the GRAMMAR!)

happy thanks GIVING!  yrs in HIDING!

oh yeah, um... what's the C.P. stand for eh?   (must BE hiding something!  LOL!)

ah yea, ah spell da way i tawlk hun, you making fun of mah accent?   (shame on ya)

(probably some well educated northerner making fun of me again!)

yrs, in dismay...

elvis.

What you doing for Thanksgiving?

Ted B.

well, gunna visit mah family and scare the hell outta dem then i go out and shoot me some dinner.    (yeah a .44 is a bit much but won't hafta skin the bird ya'know)  then i'm gunna sing some songs and annoy the hell outta every one of these dayam  hippy's around here then take mah demeral and call it a night.   maybe i may give 'cilla a HARD time if you know what ah mean, but then again she may ask for something that i can't give her like my attention!   (LOL) bad jokes folks...  then again i'm full of them!   like m&m's, yeah that's the ticket.. m&m's and some old charley heston movies i gotta go!   happy t-giving! 

yrs,

elvis.

mr. elvis your glasses have the face of mars on it, does this mean something HUM mr. elvis???   FESS up!  your glasses, mars.. okay you're actually an alien!  RIIIGHT?

come, see i've got pictures and documentation!

from the site....

      and the close up!    

now, try explaining out of this one mr. presley sir.

FB

actually SIR i can, it's called an over abundance of imagination sir, mr. FB if that is YOUR real NAME you must go out an' git sum of that fresh air and quality livin' cuz ya sure is losing it that is shadowing and it only appears as something else due to the light distribution, you know the SAME senerio as in the face of mars???  it's not a face on mars it's a mountain and craters and only appears as something else due to lighting and shadowing.    (there i explained myself out of this one)  how's that MR. FB!  (foney baloney!)

oh yeah, where's the um.. DOCUMENTATION?   come on!  bring it on!

yrs,

in distrust and dissertations.

elvis.

(oh oh not again!) 

i'm not a northerner, i'm a down to earth hiya'll from the south.   anyways, you didn't answer my question...  when are you coming out of hiding?   also, where and the heck are you i want to see you.   i'm still very much in love with you, and have been since i was 7 yrs old...   it won't go away, help!   so email me sometime... and let's talk.    need you angel face!  forever yours!   C.P.

no turkey?  demanding little minx isn't she folks?   i'm out of hiding first of all, i've been HERE for 19 years and thank you very much for your love and everything but i'm very much married to my work!    (translation:  help me i'm trapped here at the knightmayor.com headquarters in maryland!   send supplies and some digging apparatie!   don't forget some pumpkin pie, candied yams and some well i have a kahlua problem now these con-sarn hippies here got me addicted to this crap!   SEND HELP NOW!

sorry about the northerner insult, that was low of me, maybe i'd sing you a song in my karate jammies if only i could sneak out sometimes.

yrs, in cubicle hell!

elvis.

P.S.  you've not seen me in action?  i've been fighting terrorism by god woman!     (get's out his kell police flashlite and whoops it around in the air flamboyantly making yippee sounds.)

happy thanks giving elvis and happy 20 years!    good to see you're back on line!   YESSIR!  

john m.  

dear mr. john sir,

why thankyah, thankyah verrah much and hava happy thanksgiving to you and yers!   if there's any left overs..  cannyah make me ah sammich?   surprise me!

yrs, in celebration....

elvis!

I saved you some turkey, where should I send it?

Janey

well, janey thanks for the kindness of your offer, but there's soo many out there who can't have or try hard and still can't have and how about our boy's and girl's overseas battleing to keep our country safe and free....    why not send them some turkey, yams and all?  thank god for the life we have and i think god for the life i had... have, every day i count mah blessings and give thanks for everything given to me.    forever will i be grateful in this life, the here after and the next.   it's a tremendous privilage to be here and have fun with mah fans and friends.    thanks for your offerings and fanship, it's much nessesary in these trying times.....    OKAY enough of that serious stuff.    here gimmie that turkey now!   got some stuffin' too?   LOL!   (my brain is droppin' dead now, busy day here with the  knightmayor clan and the guys and quite a serving of family, friends and food, wine and song!) 

thanks to fire and his woman for the wonderful din-din today!   good lord i mean two huge chickens.. jammed full of taters, cornbread, veggies and spices.. and that strange candied yams of his with those two not soo secret components!  COKEaCOLA and CHOCOLATE stout?  mighty fine you ask me, very sweet.   plus two huge pumpkin pies, huge loaf of twisted butter/honey bread, case of his very own hand made wine (red wine too!) and yes on those kahlua, ice cream sodas with just enough orange soda and banana to shut me up with a huge smile and a nap!   thanks a billion you guys!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

and have a SAFE BLACK FRIDAY!   be CAREFUL out there everyone!

yrs,

elvis

back to ask elvis or...  mailbomb.com (yer choice hun!)

disclaimer:  remember this is a parody, um... okay!    (where's my god dayam book o' numbers and my glasses?)