dear ask elvis....    (then some)

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one of our long time mainstays, mr. pee (otherWISEass known as Elvis or Ask E.)

Dear Ask Elvis,

I know that you're now aware of your Colon Health..   I've read amuch to do about your colon issues online... for where you was found lying face down next to the tolit and that the autopsy showed you had nearly if not about 65lbs of fecal inpacted in your colon.   I've been much conserned about my Colon Health and have consulted a dietician, a colon specialist along with holistic medicens plus arobics along with alot of anal sex.   Is there anything else in YOUR opinion that is that you can add about all of this, hence your expertise on this topic?

Robin.

Dear Robin,

Well holy Tampons!   This is the most serious query I've ever had in my 21 years of doing this column.  How to respond first of all behave, no drinking, no fatty foods, I really had issues with Gluton and to which drugs didn't help this already doomed situation with my guts.   There's a test I have done on myself but took much time, patience but in the long run it's well worth the effort, if you're into that kinda thing being all ANAL (no PUN intended)   and are taking this seriously as much as I think you are.  I note when ever I eat anything I stay in tuned with my "feelings"  if after a meal I don't feel "good"  then I remark about this to myself, keep a log (is that like stool?) and remind myself never to endulge in that again.   As you can tell my DIEt  (note the word DIE in there.)  Isn't as fun as it used to be but I feel much better, I look better and I don't hafta soak in the tub for hours on end in boiling water just so I can squeeze a few ribbons out and nearly faint from the strain.    There's many sites about allergies and Gluton in food articles also...    I'm glad you're taking the effort in yourself to maintain a good lifestyle.     Do keep me posted Shoog on your progress and well, got any pictures?   LOL!   No just kidding, well how do you look in a bathing suit?   Nevermind...  I sure do like pictures of things now, on my desk I have the pictures of me during my final years and man I looked real bad like I was gunna give birth to a watermelon and well I also have a picture of a peanut butter, nanner sammich too, whenever I feel bad I scope those two images of my life and then that spinach almond salad isn't soo bad after all!

Good Luck!

Elvis.

wish to consult mr. P, drop him forget it, it's over dudes.   like anyone will email us now days.   (making special note that spam, UCE will result in a pumpkin pie fight and potential account cancellations.. keep the spam out of our BOX!)

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